Microdosing to beat Depression
Throughout Ayelet Waldman’s entire life, she’s been “held hostage by the vagaries of mood,” as she explains in her new book, A Really Good Day. She is a bestselling author, mom of four, and devoted wife, but her mental illness threatened it all. On good days, she was funny, productive, and kind. But on bad ones, she would catastrophize and snap at her family. So profound was her self-loathing at times that, planted on a couples’ therapist’s couch, she couldn’t bring herself to say that her husband, the novelist Michael Chabon, loves her.
A clear diagnosis (was it bipolar II or extreme PMS?), effective treatment (Effexor or Adderall?), and even the fleeting tranquility of a “good day” were all elusive. So Waldman did what few middle-aged American moms—though perhaps quite a few moms living in Berkeley, California—would think to do: Drop acid.
She procured a small, cobalt-blue bottle of diluted LSD from a friend of a friend. It was meant for “microdosing”—taking a fraction of a typical dose every few days, not enough to hallucinate or get high. Instead, the mind opens up just a crack and allows the bleak thoughts to escape for a while. (“Not so much an acid trip as an acid errand,” she assures.)
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